Our Last and Perfect Day

I want to lead you through some simple thought experiments.

First, imagine your "perfect day." Imagine that God (or if it's too hard even to imagine that God would be so kind, then you can imagine a genie instead) granted you one perfect day. Briefly go through that day.

Second, imagine your "last day" as though that day were to be the last of your life. You are not necessarily at the end of your life, old in age; instead, imagine for example that tomorrow were your last day, and after that you knew you would die. Briefly go through that day.

Now, I want you to reflect on what you imagined, and I want to suggest that if you imagined either of these days to be rosy, carefree, processing in the way you wished, or filled with recollection or consolation, where everything seems to go well, sin is avoided, good deeds done, prayer fervent, relations all well, if you even imagined that you woke up in a positive, healthy state (or did you even notice how you woke up when you imagined your days?)—I want to suggest that you actually shouldn't imagine your perfect or last day to be like this. If you equate these days with being on your "best," I will suggest that your "best" doesn't have to do with how you feel, and in fact, your "best" will be what you do in spite of how you feel.

Perhaps many of us wake up already with some sort of stress or burden—lack of sleep, or poor sleep; anxious dreams; immediate worries and plans of the day ahead barge into the mind; problems from the previous day or week creep in; stomach ache or headache. Maybe someone or something else rudely wakes you up. Maybe you sleep through your alarm, and you jolt up to realize you're late to some responsibility. Panic is your first state. Perhaps feelings of humiliation and self-loathing follow. Imagine, also, that you were given the realization that this would be the start of your last day.

Imagine that on the last day of your life, you got into the same petty arguments you normally get into; the misunderstandings that seem to occur when you least expect; the mistakes and embarrassments that always seem to return no matter what resolutions you've made and how often. Imagine people were just the way they always are—most don't care about you; perhaps they don't even extend "common" courtesies, which means they are no longer common.

Thus, we have a tendency to romanticize our perfect day and our last day. We have a tendency to think that everything will go as we hope it will go. We don't ever realize the extent to which these hopes bias even how we imagine this perfect or last day to unfold, right from our rising from bed.

But actually, we have to realize that every day is potentially our last day. And regardless of whether it ends up being our last day or not, we must treat it as though it were our last day. We must give up the romantic idealization that we'll wake up perfectly rejuvenated, with no concerns, or at least with all the feeling of preparation for the concerns and duties that face us for that day. We must give up the idea that every move we make will be elegant and graceful, that every interaction we have will go smoothly and be edifying, that every prayer will be fervent and focused and pious. We must take the day as it is given, and it is given by Providence. How I feel here and now does not form the basic constitution of my day but what I will do with it.

What I will do in spite of what I feel and what the circumstances present, against all my hopes and romantic dreams of when I think I'm doing my very best as opposed to what God believes is my very best. Here we have to realize that my very best is not what I think it to be but is realized by the grace offered me here and now in the everything-but-ideal day. My cooperation doesn't make the less-than-ideal rosy and smooth but helps me die to the expectation that my happiness depends on rosy conditions, that my life is lived best when it is lived most pleasurably, even in spiritual matters, such as fervent prayer and spiritual consolation in the heart.

Therefore, with God's grace, we must use all the vigor of our will power to embrace the present moment. This is called fidelity to grace and the grace of the present moment. This is the point of the practice of the presence of God. This is the way of the Cross, the narrow way, and the only way to happiness.

Pressure vs. Cooperation

In common experience, we feel "under pressure" when the results of some effort depend upon us combined with the expectation of success in achieving the goal of that undertaking, whether these expectations are internal to us or external/social.

Feeling under pressure in the spiritual life is a sign of pride, a sign that the results of our progress depend principally upon our efforts. In contrast, cooperation with God removes pressure because we know that God provides a superabundance of means for our sanctification; hence any failure to achieve sanctity is not because God places an expectation without providing the means to achieve the goal, but because we failed to cooperate with those graces offered at every moment by our free resistance.

Hence as cooperation increases, pressure decreases. The Blessed Virgin was under no pressure when Gabriel extended the invitation to become the Mother of God; all the just souls of the past, the present, and the future waited on her response, united mystically to this moment every time they pray the Angelic Salutation. If the Blessed Virgin could, by means of an infused understanding from God, see this reality at the moment that Gabriel waited, the reality of all souls to be redeemed watching and waiting on the Blessed Virgin to give her fiat, she nevertheless would have felt absolutely no pressure to "make the right choice." Her only concern was to cooperate as perfectly as possible with God's will with the full humble knowledge that any positive acceptance of God's will would be provided totally by God's power, His grace not only allowing the cooperation but providing the condition by which her free will could even exercise itself without doing harm to its integrity.

Insofar as we believe that our salvation depends upon ourselves, we shall feel the pressure of perfectionism. Insofar as we believe that our salvation depends upon God and our simple cooperation, there is no pressure, no fear, only perfect love.

At What Cost?

Perhaps some of us have difficulty in committing to the spiritual life because we have little sense of responsibility. A sense of responsibility follows an awareness of some pressing and important task to be completed, the failure or neglect of which would result in something unfavorable. The greater the task, the greater the potential failure, but also the greater the potential success—and hence, the greater the sense of responsibility. This sense of responsibility, which follows from a true perception not only obligation but its consequences, is different than the resentment of workaholics, who work to hide within the busyness of their work from what they must actually take responsibility for—their brokenness.

It's easy to put off the responsibility of cooperating with God's grace in becoming transformed to our fullest potential in God for His glory and the salvation of souls because we do not see and hence do not believe that there are any serious consequences to neglecting our interior life. Hence what Christ said to the Samaritan woman, He says to us all: "If you but knew the gift of God!" (Jn 4:10). If we knew what was offered to us and Whom was offering it to us, we would have asked Him, and He would have given us living water. But because we do not know, we do not ask. The paradox, of course, is that we must ask to know and know to ask.

Perhaps many of us believe that if we put off praying today or persevering in being more charitable, more self-giving, more noble and generous, everything will be all right since we have tomorrow. There is always time, we think, because our lives are relatively stable and predictable. And in the trap of predictability, we become stagnant, like J. Alfred Prufrock, and perhaps even end up like Richard Cory.

But everything is affected. St. John of the Cross warned us: imperfection leads us imperceptibly but surely to venial sin, which disposes us bit by bit for mortal sin. A trickle adds up over time, the same time that we think we have to change. Not only do we reject God's infinitely wise and noble plan for us, but we spurn those that we could have helped if only we had cooperated with God. How many more souls could we have touched; how many more prayers and sacrifices could we have offered—if only we were generous and realized that the time we have now is the time that affects everything, everywhere. The smallest prayer said now, in good faith, only in heaven shall we see its effects. Dr. Peter Kreeft said that he believes if we saw the effect of one such a small prayer throughout the entire world, we would fall to our knees and never rise for the rest of our lives, deep in intense prayer and rapt admiration for how God uses such seemingly-insignificant means to effect great change in the world.

When we come closer to God through this little sacrifice or that little act of virtue, the angels rejoice, devils fly, and the entire Mystical Body of Christ is strengthened, like medicine being administered through its veins because the mouth opened to receive the pill, the hand accepted the medicine, the throat swallowed, the heart pumped blood, the lungs breathed to aid the heart, etc. Everything works together. And when we become holy, we change the entire fabric of the universe by aiding it in its goal of transformation to become a symphony to God's glory.

For this reason did Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalene, the renowned spiritual theologian of the early 20th century, recommend that someone beginning to read the works of St. John of the Cross begin with his Spiritual Canticle or the Living Flame of Love because these books show us the glorious end that holiness attains to. With the end in mind, we might persevere because we see how precarious the situation is, how much danger we truly are in, how much progress there is to be made, how close the devils are to us but as well as the angels, how intense the struggle is over each and every soul.

But stuck in the day-to-day monotony and gray of work and technology, it's easy to forget that anything is really happening. It's easy to disbelieve that monotony has been sanctified by Christ's Resurrection. It's easy to forget that gray, like all the other colors, glorifies God. Some of us want yellow and blue and green and red all the time, thinking that these colors matter more somehow. But Christ spent thirty years with the grey—or the brown wood, if you prefer—to show us that each has its proper place—the red for the Passion and the gold and white for the Resurrection.

And so Christ also told us, surely knowing how easily we are prone to forget, since He knew how easily the Israelites forgot the covenant they had with God, "For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul?" (Mt 16:26; Mk 8:36; Lk 9:25). Remember: "If thou didst know the gift of God, and who he is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou perhaps wouldst have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water."

"Why, Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world... but for Wales?"

Dr. Germain Grisez on Making Good Use of Time

Many people, for example, waste much of their time and energy in pastimes which, while perhaps sinless in themselves, bear no real fruit either for themselves or others: daydreaming, useless worrying, idle chatter, and passive entertainment. Even fairly well-organized people often fail to make good use of the time and energy still available while they engage in some necessary activity, for example, by allowing their minds to wander as they shower and dress or by using a radio for passive entertainment as they commute. Committed Christians should discipline themselves to replace useless activities with others which not only promise real benefit but further one or another element of their vocation, and, whenever possible, should do two or more such things at once. For example, while occupied with necessary activities which leave the mind free, a person can make plans, think through a problem, or pray; while commuting, someone might listen to worthwhile tape recordings. The ideal of faithfulness is set by the exhortation: “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Col 3.17; see CMP, 27.E).

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Source: Germain Grisez, The Way of the Lord Jesus: Living a Christian Life, ch. 2, q. E, 5, a, accessed April 29, 2014, http://www.twotlj.org/G-2-2-E.html.

The Grandeur of Life

Do not underestimate your life nor yourself, for that would be slighting God and you would be doing yourself the greatest possible harm. God does not do things on a small scale. In Him all things are great. He has created you according to His image and likeness and has given you the power to become His child and, as such, to become God by participation in His own divinity. You will therefore be divine if you will but act divinely.

Do not mark your misery and lowliness and say: "I am a poor mortal born for the things of earth; heaven is too high for me and I am not able to mount to it." Do not underestimate yourself this way nor underestimate the work of God. For if you are part earth, you also have a spark of divinity that makes you greater than the universe.

It is not external things that make you great, but you must magnify or make great all things. The smallest thing, the most insignificant action, will become great if you will perform it with a magnanimous spirit. Before God what is great and what is small in the material order? To Him there is but one greatness in man: greatness of heart. Just as God is equally great when He creates an ant as when He creates the universe, for in each case He operates with the same power, so also the man who acts in virtue of his interior greatness elevates all things to his own greatness.

Wherefore, do not mark the external lowliness of your life; do not mark the servility and insignificance of your occupations and believe yourself bereft of the right to true greatness, which is to become like God. Did He not spend thirty years in a carpenter's shop? He did it in order to consecrate your life. Thenceforth there would be no vile or base occupations. Everything is great, everything is holy, everything is divine if we but do it in the spirit of the children of God. What does it matter, then, if my actions and occupations are lowly, if in them I accomplish the will of God and through them I ravish His heart? For nothing pleases Him more than humility of heart!

Sing, then, O soul, sing with jubilation to your God while your hands sow the seed or carve the stone, for thus you sow seeds of eternal life and fashion your eternal crown.

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Source: Fr. Victorino Osende, Fruits of Contemplation, trans. by a Dominican Sister of the Perpetual Rosary (St. Louis, MO: B. Herder Book Co., 1963), 104-105.

Fr. Antonio Royo Marin's Commentary on the Hail Mary, pt. 10: "Now and at the hour of our death"

Now

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us now, through this day, through this hour, through our entire lives, in which there are constant temptations and dangers.

Now, when temptation intensifies and we run into further danger, that the Lord may not permit these temptations to become more violent and dangerous. Now when, as ever, souls are besieged by the world, the devil, and the flesh. Now when, without danger, we cannot walk down streets, nor attend spectacles and shows, nor read magazines and books, nor even look out the window, nor be properly educated at schools. Now when, with so many followers of the devil, men and women seem to have as their sole occupation to tempt men to sin and damn them.

And at the Hour of Our Death

We know not how our death shall be, nor when it shall be, nor whether it shall take us by surprise. When we arrive at our death, the devil will bring back to our minds our many sins, the rigor of divine justice, our failure to make sufficient penance, and how we constantly showed contempt for God's many graces. At that hour of our death, when the pain of infirmity will not allow us to come before You [Translator's note: perhaps the author is thinking here of being before the Blessed Sacrament or at a Church or other holy place]: may it not be sudden, but may we know clearly the gravity of the moment and have at our side a priest who may absolve us, administer Viaticum and Extreme Unction, and commend our souls while suggesting holy affections to us, and with such preparation may we breathe forth our final breath pronouncing your holy Name and the Name of your Son Jesus, our Redeemer and Savior. Amen.

Conclusion

Such is the most beautiful prayer of the Hail Mary in its two parts. It is impossible to find a more beautiful and sublime prayer in praise of Mary and in fervent supplication for graces. The Hail Mary ought to be constantly in the hearts and very frequently on the lips of all the sons of Mary. It has a supernatural efficacy to obtain from Her any grace, and above all others as the most important grace, the grace of a holy death. There exists a special devotion dedicated to this thought, called the Three Hail Marys, which was revealed to St. Matilda by God as the most efficacious way to obtain from Him, through the intercession of Mary, the grace of a happy death. The three Hail Marys ought to be recited piously every day in honor of the three great privileges which the Most Holy Trinity granted to Mary, namely: unlimited power, wisdom, and mercy. Clearly in order to obtain this grace from God, it is necessary to be worthy of it; hence we ought to avoid all sin and live an authentically Christian life, to which praying the three Hail Marys will provide a powerful help.

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Source: Fr. Antonio Royo Marín, La Virgen María, trans. by R. Grablin (Madrid, Spain: BAC, 1996), 458-459. Translation of this commentary is dedicated to V.G.M.S.

Cardinal Mercier's Prayer to the Holy Ghost

Cardinal Mercier was so convinced of the importance of the practice of fidelity to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit that he advised persons to spend five minutes each day in complete recollection in order to address the Holy Ghost in the following words: "O Holy Spirit, soul of my soul, I adore thee. Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me. Tell me what I ought to do. Give me thy commands. I promise to submit myself to whatever thou dost ask of me and to accept whatever thou dost permit to happen to me. Grant only that I may know thy holy will."

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Source: Fr. Antonio Royo Marin, The Theology of Christian Perfection, trans. by Jordan Aumann (Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, 2011), 585.