St. Teresa of Avila on Self-Deceived Self-Giving to God

When a soul is determined to love You [God] by doing what it can to leave all and occupy itself better in this divine love, why don't You desire that it enjoy soon the ascent to the possession of perfect love? I have poorly expressed myself. I should have mentioned and complained that we ourselves do not desire this. The whole fault is ours if we don't soon reach the enjoyment of a dignity so great, for the perfect attainment of this true love of God brings with it every blessing. We are so miserly and so slow in giving ourselves entirely to God that since His Majesty does not desire that we enjoy something as precious as this without paying a high price, we do not fully prepare ourselves. [...]

If we do what we can to avoid becoming attached to any earthly thing and let all our care and concern be with heavenly things, and if within a short time we prepare ourselves completely, as some of the saints did, I believe without a doubt that in a very short time this blessing [of mystical union with God in contemplative prayer] will be given to us. But it seems to us that we are giving all to God, whereas the truth of the matter is that we are paying God the rent or giving Him the fruits and keeping for ourselves the ownership and the root. [...]

It appears to us [...] that we renounce [our status] when we begin to live a spiritual life and follow the path of perfection. [...] [How soon] we forget we have already offered [some trifle] to God; and we desire to take it right back out of His hands [...] after having made Him, as it seemed, the Lord of our wills. So it is with everything else.

3. What a charming way to seek the love of God! [...] We have our attachments since we do not strive to direct our desires to a good effect and raise them up from the earth completely. [...] Since we do not succeed in giving up everything at once, this treasure as a result is not given to us all at once. [...]

4. Indeed a great mercy does He bestow on anyone to whom He gives the grace and courage to resolve to strive for this good with every ounce of energy. For God does not deny Himself to anyone who perseveres. Little by little He will measure out the courage sufficient to attain this victory. [...] The devil puts so many dangers and difficulties into the beginner's head that no little courage, but a great deal, is necessary in order not to turn back—and a great deal of assistance from God.

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Source: St. Teresa of Avila, The Book of Her Life, 11.1-4.