Fr. David Greenstock on the Sanctification of the Family

We must never forget that marriage is a sacrament, something holy, and not a mere permission to accept a state less perfect than virginity because one could not quite make the grade. It is every bit as difficult to live a holy married life as it is to live a life of celibacy in the priesthood or the religious state; and it is just as important for the well-being of the Church.

Writing of Christian marriage, Pope Pius XI says that husbands and wives, by means of the sacrament and the charity which informs it, must have 'a persevering endeavour [sic] to bring each other to the state of perfection'. There is a great truth enshrined in those simple words. When two people become 'one flesh' by means of this sacrament they dedicate themselves to a common life together which embraces both the natural and the supernatural order. They are bound, not merely to seek perfection as individuals, but also as a family unit with in the Mystical Body. This applies not only to husband and wife but also to the children. Salvation and perfection are no longer individual goals, so to speak; on the contrary, the spiritual perfection of a husband will depend very much on his efforts to help his wife and children to attain that same end. The same is true of a wife and mother—she must attain her perfection in and through her marriage obligations. [...]

A good Catholic marriage lived in full accordance with the laws of God can have a stunning effect on a world which is lost in a maze of false principles concerning divorce, birth control, and sex. Such a marriage can prove to be the best of all demonstrations that the true sanctity of this human contract is at a much deeper level than mere obedience to a spiritual authority. It is essentially an expression of love—of a love which is no mere sentiment, but a sacramental love which mirrors the love which prompted God to become man and to found a Church, uniting Himself with it.

The apostolate of the Catholic family is simply to be a loving, united whole, working for a full life of the Spirit within and through the obligations of that state. The sacrament must be allowed to permeate and sanctify every element in that union if its full purpose is to be achieved. It must orientate the theological and moral virtues, for example. There will be a special need in marriage for prudence, fortitude, patience, purity, confidence in God, and temperance in all its varied forms. 

The practice of religion must now be an act of virtue in which two people act as one. Family prayers provide an example of this. The family must be at Mass, at confession, and Communion. The virtue of piety now comes into its own in a special way, prompting obedience on the part of the children and loving service on that of the parents. It should never be forgotten in this connection that the foundation of true Christian education is the family. If the family education is missing or is defective, then all other education is liable to fail in its aims and become an elaborate superstructure on a defective foundation.

This has practical applications in every department of life. Parents must not rely entirely on the school to educate their children in religion. Morning and evening prayers must become a family affair, not something merely individual. There must be a family effort to overcome the materialistic attitude of the world around us, a spontaneous family attitude of living faith which is seriously put into practice. There must be authority and obedience in a Catholic family, because love is based on the keeping of the law. This is the very basis of sanctity inside the family unit and should never be forgotten. However, both authority and obedience must be based on love if they are to avoid becoming arbitrary dictatorship and servility.

Prayer is, of course, the foundation of this Catholic family atmosphere. Prayer in common, the Mass, the family Rosary, etc., will do more than the mere formal teaching of religion to bring about an effective family sanctity. The great feasts of the Church, birthdays, anniversaries, and patron-saint days will be important landmarks which will bring the whole family into intimate contact with the world of spiritual realities.

Once this truly religious atmosphere has been attained, it will be a simple matter to include such things as spiritual reading in common, a simple but careful study of the doctrines of the Church and, when the children are still young, instruction in the truths of faith. As they grow older, there will be the need for guidance through conversation and discussion of various topics in order to maintain their Catholic standards of values. The work of both husband and wife must be sanctified, not merely as individual daily tasks, but as a family concern. Here mutual help and understanding play a very great part in the family sanctification.

In such an atmosphere the gulf which sometimes appears between religion and secular life will vanish, because the sense of being given to God as a family unity will sanctify even the most frivolous entertainments as well as the more serious side of life. Family joys and the pleasures of married life together will acquire a new, richer, and deeper meaning for all. Nothing can break the power for good of a Catholic marriage as the central unit both of the Church and of the State, provided it is lived for and in God.

In this way the family becomes first of all a great source of personal and communal sanctity in which the members all work for themselves and for others. It also becomes a power-house of personal example of what the love of God means when translated into effective action. It becomes the breeding ground for solid vocations on which the Church depends to provide priests and religious. Above all, it is the most effective spearhead for our attack on the indifference and malice of a world which has lost the sense of sin and true spiritual peace. In the sanctification of the family unit lies the hope for the sanctification of the world.

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Source: Fr. David L. Greenstock, "Christian Perfection and the States of Life," in The Meaning of Christian Perfection (St. Louis, MO: B. Herder Book Co., 1956), 145-147.