Fr. Dubay and Prayer in Family Life

A happy home has been called "the domestic sanctuary of the Church" [....] A normal family, which is of course a family in a serious pursuit of God, provides the first setting and atmosphere for children to meet their Lord. A refreshing openness to the divine is one of the core traits of youngsters so praised by Jesus himself, traits that we adults must also have as a condition for entering the kingdom (Mt. 18:1-4).

If from their earliest days infants see Mom and Dad praying, they rightly assume that prayer is as normal as having dinner together. If parents hold them on their laps or at their sides as they commune with the Lord before bedtime, the youngsters learn even without explicit words to that effect that prayer is pleasant, perhaps even a fun thing to do. We are thinking here not only of vocal prayer, which the children may simply listen to at first, but also of meditative prayer, which on occasion the parents may verbalize in simple terms. [...]

Just as in a convent or monastery, a prayerful atmosphere is one that is penetrated with love for God and for others, so also in the marriage community. A milieu conducive to prayer happens when Mother and Father are convinced that the two greatest commandments are top priority in their home. All through the nitty gritty of each day, and week after week, they are at pains to be gentle toward each other and toward the children. Firmness with the children on occasion, yes, but a loving and patient firmness. No harsh words, no nagging, no raising of voices, no quarreling--and generous forgiveness when there is a slip.

Why is this gentle tone so important for anyone's prayer life? The reason is basic and simple: Prayer itself is obviously a love matter. [...] If there is conflict or harshness in the routine of daily life, all of us (children included) find incongruity, if not pain, in trying to shift gears into something as sublime as conversing with the Lord. If, on the other hand, genuine harmony and esteem for one another penetrate our habitual interpersonal relationships on the human level, turning to commune with God on the divine level is smooth and normal.

Source: Fr. Thomas Dubay, S.M., Prayer Primer (San Francisco, CA: Ignatius Press, 2002), 118-119.